Travelling. Enjoying Life. Seasons change, the leaves fall. Air is crisp and stings so sweetly. Sorry for the lack of updates. Life is continually moving. New office, new friends, and new experiences. Trying to make the most of the short time here.

Have been able to start on a few things, and get wrought by a few things in the recent past. Was able to see some of my favorite people up in the Northwest, and get inspired once again by their company. They are the ones that drive me.

In two days, I will again hop on a plane for Nippon, a land that terrifies me with bewildered eyes. Travelling once again for bikes, and this time on someone elses dime. Will be an amazing experience, and I am so glad to see some of those others that inspire me.

Inspiration is a tricky creature. Always present, yet never seen. Lurking where you least expect it and never where you need it. As a designer I am constantly searching for those things that inspire me and it is usually found the furthest from design. Too simple is the design connection. Does design, in all forms, excite me? Of course, but that is too simple, and similar. No evolving there. It's when it is found in the clovers, or the sky, from your doorstep to across an ocean. The smallest things and most profound influences.

I am going to be drifting for a few more weeks to come. Too many places to go see. Too many things to enjoy. Until then, continue the struggle.

Life is struggle. Exempt of negativity or positivity, the path that all lives travel down is that of struggle. Innately and completely. Accepting that path and everything you encounter along it, yet getting passed all those obstacles is struggle. Nothing is lost from struggle, but everything is gained.

Naturally, I feel that struggle generally associates with negative connotations. That struggle is suffering, though that is merely a common cultural association that is misplaced. Struggle is the effort it takes to move forward in life. To accept the way things are and move past them. Life is nothing but, and can be nothing but, struggle. Learning to recognize it as such, and accept for it being an omnipresent force in life allows for you to view it and react to it in the most productive, forward way. There is no denying, no dwelling, no pain. It is actually rather positive. By accepting it as the flow with which you travel, you can learn to navigate with it, and have it guide you where you need to go.

Each path is different and often what seems like difficulty often is not. Hours spent on a project to get it right, where nothing seemed to come simply together. Having claim bankruptcy after your first cafe isn't able to make ends meet. Losing loved ones to illness. That is all struggle and all is positive. It merely is a matter of perspective. Did the hours spent on the project lead to a better awareness of the process? Maybe learning a new skill-set? Losing the first business answer the questions that arose from a first time endeavour? Or that maybe the cafe was not what you were intended to be doing? Are the loved ones in a better place now? Is learning to leave them and celebrate them a key to living a better life? All a matter of perspective, but accepting those things, embracing them, and learning where to go next is key. Dwelling on them is not.

I want to embrace struggle and all that it entails. All the momentary misery, range of emotion, ecstatic moments. The good and bad friends. All I can learn from. All will help me move down that path, and hopefully towards being a 'better' person. The more struggle the better, and often times it seems like the people who have dealt with the most have come out the happiest. With the best appreciation for this moment of life we have. Those are who I look towards as example. I have seen people with literally nothing, everything taken from them and they have to fight to eat. And they smile. I have seen those who have seen their families slaughtered in front of their own eyes, and they smile. Smiling not of ignorance, but of wisdom.

I am not trying to fool myself here, but things are not worth dwelling on, and most often not worth being upset from. Often you have no control over things, and it is best to try and leave them be. Things will figure themselves out, they have to, and they will continue to follow their own path and I will follow mine.

I just finished reading a book given to me by a friend discussing Taoism. Never having really delved into the philosophy (can I call it that?) of Taoism, I was never quite sure of it's path. I must say I am highly intrigued by it's messaging and concepts of participating in life, however it is of course a bit difficult to relay all this in words, and keeping it particularly transparent due to my new-ness to it all.

First, I find many of the concepts very obvious and simple, though the method in which it is shown is so simple it is amazingly adaptive to any life. Re-iterating things that you may know helps shift it to the foreground in your mind, and keeps it relevant to more activities in your life. While so many things are apparently obvious, they are too easily pushed to the back of the mind and disregarded causing many of the hiccups and hesitations that Taoism seems to avoid.

Second, I am trying to associate its beliefs with current ones of my own. And in doing so I find Taoism is extremely post modern. One grows up within a cutural system, now mainly Western, of aims, rules, goals, destinations, and standards. This system is applied across the board from how we dress, to who we interact with, to how we speak, covering all aspects of life. Looking at this system, it is clear that it is extrememly flawed, contrary, and confusing. Learning how to look at this system from the outside, for what it is, is essentially the aim and allows us to make clarify ourselves within it. Essentially, I would say this is Post-Modernity at work. Being able to expose the inner workings of the system we live in as to operate ourselves as ourselves and not be driven by what is dictated to us. I find this to be the same within Taoism.

Taoism is a bit more specific as to how one learns to exist in the spaces of the system, shifting around its terms and conditions, but essentially aiming for the same goal. Both seem to rely on a sense of Inner Nature that is the ideal self of thought and action. That Inner Nature which is the order of things without these systems imposed on them.

In life in general usually the form of least resistance garnishes the largest outcome. Inspiration is found in the most abstract and where you would expect to find it. Labor and mental intensive actions usually lead to results that are lacking. Taking the time to do nothing can result in the greatest solutions. In work, and life in general, all this is something to take into consideration. The effort is rarely worth it. Take a break, go for a walk. It will all be there when you get back.

How you walk that path is ultimately up to you, as long as you acknowledge the system for what it is. That system is not yours, and often one does not seem to benefit from it. I do not know what path I am currently on, or where my desitination is, but I guess that is entirely the point. I am simply flowing along and accepting what is, though not forgetting what isn't.

Now, an actual post almost totally on design.

Helvetica. All the rage right? It seems like society's love for this ubiquitous typeface has been refreshed with the emergence of the documentary, aptly named, 'Helvetica.' With a rich history and the ability to work in such a shown variety of projects, whats not to love? Now, I have not seen this film yet. I'm sure I will eventually, but I will get to it when I get to it. I really feel no real rush to check it out, because honestly, I don't really like Helvetica. (Holy shit! Did he just say what I think he did? Oh my god!) Yep, not a fan.

Helvetica is easily one of the most commonly used typefaces ever. For all those people reading this that have no interest in counters and x-heights, I can safely say you see it at least 20 times a day. Ever seen the NY Subway Signage? Helvetica. American Apparel logo? Helvetica. This very blog could easily be set in Helvetica as you are reading this. Now this universal application is what I believe to be one of the it's most attractive qualities, and, in my opinion, the worst.

In school, Helvetica was avoided like the plague. There had to be something better out there! Something that fit better for the design's direction and concept than Helvetica. After all, it was just so neutral. So un-charismatic. So invisible! But oddly enough, that is the best part. Helvetica has become the invisible typeface. What do you use when you don't really want people to notice the type? Helvetica. And I am not making this up. Well known and often respected designers (not necessarily by me, but thats another post) such as Michael C. Place and Experimental Jetset are heavy Helvetica users and have mentioned there use at times as an attempt to make the type disappear.

Now this leads to two interesting conclusions. The first is, what a crock of crap! Type is not invisible, so there is no possibility that the typeface selection is somehow not going to communicate. And second, the mass use of Helvetica in the past 30 years has definitely made it something of a staple, but that is the new meaning, and quite possibly close to the original intent. Based off Akzidenz Grotesk, Helvetica was the answer to modernism in Design. One typeface to rule them all. Now, that will never really work, but in many ways it has come close, and now is what it embodies. I would not say Helvetica disappears on the page, but represents banality and the mass-produced/consumed typeface it is. It in many ways lack communication which is the antithesis of Design. Finally (kind of a third), I also just think there are countless other san serif typefaces that are much nicer than Helvetica. Hell, I even prefer Arial over Helvetica. (Note Apple. All their stuff looks super nice, no?) Maybe, I am just biased from what I learned in school, but Helvetica will never be the end all answer to typefaces. Not a chance.

Now the reason why any of my limited readers out there who are not really interested in typeface design should care. Designers craft their projects to communicate to you, creating a message that is composed of many parts. Now, I believe in Post-Modern thought and that everything means something (to put it very very very vaguely), so even the typeface chosen for a project is meaningful. Since I am trying to communicate my design to you, and possibly even influence you to buy this or vote for this guy. Take a look. Type is definitely a bit more important than you think.

Type Comparison

Life is nothing but an uncertainty. An extended period of never knowing, and constant questioning. This is normal. This is good. It is the times where we think we are certain that leads to our downfall. We are never certain. It isn't possible. While knowing that a tangible existence isn't possible, it is not a revelation of despair. Without the preconception that we are in control we, in fact, are in control. Understanding uncertainty is the closest possibility of anything certain.

Complicated. I don't know what I am doing half the time. I am a jumbled mess of thoughts and emotion that are, seemingly, always attempting the precise scenario for epic downfall. My need to over-think, over-dramatize, over-rationalize every situation is constantly creating problems that could very well never exist. For this I am sorry, for I know no other way.

It is the constant struggle of my life to constantly evaluate my position. To use the terms of another; to look around at the table I have prepared myself. To see those that sit around me, and ask 'How did you arrive?' and then turn to myself and ask 'How did I arrive?'. Did I set this place at the table, or was it set for me, and by whom? Is that my name written on the card in front of me? Have I earned the right to such an invitation?

Frankly, no. But such is life. I have no right to anything. No more so, than anyone else. I have not earned my place, personally or professionally. What have I done for my career? For Graphic Design? How have I helped those around me in my work place? How have I helped my clients? Have I done what is beneficial for those around me, and honorable to those that came before me, and educational for those that come after? The answer is no, I have not. But, truth be told, I am still young. Though not an excuse, a fact, and the hope is that from having this perspective, it will lead me on to be able to finally answer, yes.

I now look to preparing my table. I look to those I care about, those I respect, those I wish I could do right by. I hope I can set a table people will join me at. Family and friends, too many I have that have been sacrificed to the uncertainty. Too many people I wish i knew better. Too many people that I miss, but don't tell them. For all of that I am sorry. You are all in my thoughts more than you know. My silence is that of questioning the constant of uncertainty.

But uncertainty is all I know. The addiction I am not able to give up. I realize it can cause difficulty and struggle, but is it wrong to acknowledge the uncertainty? To question action and place? To ask why am I at this table, and have I done what is necessary to be here? And the answer is, I don't know. I can only ask those questions, and hope that by asking them, it is enough.

With this, I begin to set my table. Carefully placing the dining cloth, candles, flowers, plates, and silverware out in hope that you will join me. I hope you can make it.


** To the person who contacted me recently, and probably does not read this. I am glad you did. I have missed your company, please have a seat next to mine, and excuse my poor manners. I'm working on it.

*** I am also trying to be a bit better about updating this. Please keep checking back or read down if you have missed a post. There is little worse than a person with a blog that does not update. I know we all have plenty to say, or at least should.

I once said that my aim in life was to be as self-less as possible. A bit ideal and over-simplified at the time, though it is still an aim I have. Thinking of others before yourself is a complicated task. Fairly easy, but not so transparent as you would like. I find that it is not the hardest thing to do, though it is very seldom realized. Giving everything while taking little is a very honorable pursuit in my mind, but when does taking nothing become a problem.

I am not one without faults. But for my faults I hope that there are virtues to counter. I realize that many things are dual, where there is a constant opposite to everything. And aiming to be self-less is sometimes not the simplest or easiest choice for all those affected, especially myself.

How does one help others, before they have helped themselves? How does one give advice when they know not themselves? Too often I think that in the pursuit of a greater cause that one's own situation is sacrificed. While, I don't think that I will ever stop aiming for that greater cause, I must stop and wonder if I am going about it the best way. Am I settling? Am I not trying? Am I trying to hard but towards the wrong aim?

Recently I find myself in a very uncomfortable position. Lost in a labyrinth I have created for myself. Knowing not which way to turn, no possible route towards and end, and stuck in a place I should never have entered. I have settled for less too often and am now trapped. I lost my sense of directions staring up towards the stars instead of concentrating on my movements around every corner of the path. I am now stuck in a place where instead of many options, I have but a few, and seemingly none are getting me closer to an exit.

Personally, people will hopefully never understand how I may be able to do things. In a way, being self-less really isnt for them at all. It is a rather selfish way to feel good about myself, but it is not also about the recognition. On the other hand, it is difficult for being 'self-less' can be extremely taxing emotionally. Losing the ability to relate from fear of loss, or doing without because it is the 'right' thing to do. Where does this end, and the individual must look out for themself so that they are no longer under pressure. And how much can one take?

Professionally, where does one get for acting self-less? With a client, what do I get for surrendering to their desires? Almost always nothing. Professionally, I feel it is almost always the wrong thing to lay down for the client, leading mainly in poor results. It is clear that what is best for you is best in the end. Professionally, never settle. Find your beliefs and stand too them or you will also find yourself in the labyrinth. I know this becuase I am there now. Only now I am able to see which direction I need to go and can make the appropiate turns to find the exit.

Is it possible to follow the professional path with the lesser degree of gray in a personal context? I think so. Finding your beliefs and values and holding to them is important, and in the end it may be all the easier to see what is best for you, is also the most self-less. All in all, this is just another example of thinking before acting, and definitely of others before yourself. I hope that I am able to fulfill this one day and that maybe it is realized by myself and those that I am hopefully doing right by.

I feel that too much in our lives we live in fear of emotion. A sometimes lifting, but often crippling device that can change our perspective of the world we live in or bring it to a dull sorrowful blur. For these very uncontrollable symptoms, we avoid the irrationality in order to keep composure and appearance. But what is it to deny the ability to recognize that which strikes up the emotion? Realizing what is the main items that create drive, inspiration, desperation, in order to maintain a mediocrity of the understandable grey.

What I refer to as the grey is the common area that is massively understood and replicated. A safe comfortable zone in which the majority of people fall within; not wanting to find themselves in a possible area of being ostracized / alone. That desire to be connected, understood, and liked is a state of mediocrity. Too many checks and balances to ensure that you do not find yourself alone. However, this is normal. We are human, and rely on a pack. We look to others for help and protection, though in a general world (that which the majority of us live in) that pack is one that is mediocrity relinquishing emotion

I want to be angry. I want to be satisfied. I want to be depressed. I want emotion. It pushes me out of that grey realm. I need sadness, I need frustration, I need anxiety. All these emotions push me to further myself and my actions. Mediocrity is unacceptable. The grey is not for dwelling, in mind or action.

Why settle? Why not take it one direction or the other? Put your foot in your mouth and kick. Is there really that much to lose? You probably already have too much. I'll dump it on you and be free of the burden, and go about my merry prankster way.

In reality, we are stuck in this grey. I, and probably you, deal with it everyday in our personal and professional lives. Not wanting to upset someone, or create a something from nothing. Not wanting to put yourself out there with honest criticism, since it is that much easier to just sit back and give people what they want to hear. Validity is tarnished through the layers of appropriate-ness that goes through interactions.

Through design, the mediocre is common. Nothing new, nothing interesting. Re-inventing the wheel thousands of times over. Constraints that keep the projects from getting where they out to be. Forget those restraints and wait till you feel the emotion, then you will know that it is where it should be. The moment you get excited since it is getting to a spot you know is good.

Savour the emotion. Don't suppress it. Good or bad are relative concepts that hold no true meaning, and without the both, neither could exist.

I am, too, that rooster called 'Pingüino'.

I am a cyclist. My only bike at the moment is a track bike that I ride daily, though my passion for which started off in a sub-faction of riding has shifted toward the main sport. Following various races in the professional world of cycling is fun, and I start to look at the top riders as idols for which I aspire to ride like.

Today was the 17th stage of the Tour de France, the largest cycling event in the world, and one of the largest sports events in history. Every year in France, riders compete for three weeks in grueling conditions that push their ability to perform on any successful level. It is professional sports, so undoubtedly comes with a very large amount of pressure placed on every competitor,... so they dope.

Doping is nothing new. Around the time of the origin of 'The Tour' in 1908 riders used cocaine as stimulant, and now the methods of performance enhancing drugs is amazingly effective and intricate. As one may guess, it is illegal in the sport to use any type of performance enhancing drugs. It is false and how can one tell who is a true champion when everyone is doping. So, while it has been a constant problem in cycling (and I'm sure almost every other sport) it has been recently exposed, and keeps surfacing as the ubiquitous problem. Cycling is one of the few sports with extremely regimented testing to curb such doping, though little the promoters do seem to deter the riders. From Floyd last year losing his title, to Vino and Rasmussen getting pulled from the current running Tour for an illegal blood and transfusion and failure to show up for random drug tests, respectively, it is a non-stop barrage of blemishes. The sport is dying here in the largest competition in front of the world. All because of what I think are simple ethics. (Here comes the design segway ; ) ) Design, like the Tour, is in its own state of ethic crisis.

Ethics are something all of us have. Some a lot, some almost none, but we all make decisions and have to base them off certain beliefs. As a designer, our ethics involve a wide range of scenarios from whether or not we choose to work for a large cigarette brand, to whether or not we use soy-based inks to print this catalog, to whether or not I have actual creative ownership of a particular creative. Design is a profession with a huge amount of responsibility and cultural impact, and needs a refined sense of ethics to properly approach the creative and culture it is reaching. But where are these ethics? Who is utilizing them?

Graphic Design is vastly becoming this medium 'that everyone can do.' I have photoshop, I can do your catalog. I got this cool image, and a scanner, so I can make your CD cover. As it grows the quality and inexperience of those executing the work and ethics are disintegrating. Those with the knowledge and ethics of the profession are being lost in the sea of mediocrity and poorly executed ideas that waste materials for companies that are as dubious as the work created for them.

Too many people are sitting by and watching this all happen. The majority know nothing about Design and what they are doing. Half are doing it themselves but trying to keep their mouth shouts. Very few are actually speaking up and trying to do something about it. This entry is but a trunk from which a handful of branches stem from hitting specific areas of ethics, like clients, plagiarism, environmental factors, et al. And while I don't want to focus on those specifically, it is the 'critical thought' which the trunk is about, and what Graphic Design is. The critical though that is not found in the mass of shit design plagued upon the world, and the critical thought or voice that is ruining one of the greatest sports in the world. It is time to take it all back and strive to make it the world it should be.

Design is more a philosophy than a practice. It is applicable as a way of thinking that spans application. A true designer is never hindered whether designing a skyscraper, an annual report, or a pair of socks. True design is a method for which problems are solved. The designers that are examples of this are heroes in my eyes, though they are very few and far between. Design within the last few years seems to grow at an ever accelerated pace, though the quality of design seems to be the cost. As it grows, the content and concept seem to be what is left out of the equation and what is left is a sea of monotony and poorly thought out and executed design, which instead of relying on the content to communicate, something 'hip and cool' is substituted in to attract the viewer. A cheap thrill that lasts just a moment before it disappears and the ADD of the viewer kicks in and wonders off. There are countless reasons for why this may be, and I have my own suspicions, but one thing (and I have hit on this before) is that graphic art is not graphic design.

I recently purchased 79 Short Essays on Design by Michael Beirut. Mr. Beirut is a man of great accomplishment in the design community; partner at Pentagram, worked for roughly ten years with Massimo Vignelli, professor at Yale, and founding writer at Design Observer. However, I am not a fan of all his essays, a number of which I have already read, but such a vast collection offers countless topics to think about and ponder about the current state of design or whatever subject he is pondering.

While I had this on my desk at work, a co-worker came up and said that he had the chance to meet him a few years ago, and they had momentarily hit on the subject of art vs. design. I do not know the exact context or how that interaction went, but the co-worker stated that he {Mr. Beirut} does not think artists can be designers. This is hard for my co-worker to accept, since though acting as a designer, he is a fine artist by trade, and frankly, Mr. Beirut is absolutely correct. Art does not equal design.

The core entity of design is to communicate an idea to an audience. Your role as designer is to take whatever it is that you must design for the client and find a way to make it accessible to the projected audience. It is a very externalized process where you are merely the entity that structures that messages the best way possible to be seen/heard the clearest and most effective. The end result should be whats best for the client, with you being a very very neutral player in the game. Art, to generalize, is far more internalized and usually an outlet for that person to project their emotions, thoughts, opinions, or pure stylistic preference to the world. It is not so much about what other people need to understand, but what they are trying to show. If their audience 'gets' it, wonderful. However, if they don't, it is probably of little concern the artist. For the most part, the artist is the client and the target audience is insignificant. Art is also very ambiguous. Where design must be easily communicated and read by an audience, art is rarely so transparent. One can spend hours looking at the work of Richard Prince and still debate what the work's intent is. If the audience spent hours discussing the intent of a piece of design, then the message is obviously unclear and lost.

Stylistic approaches also differentiate between design and art, and graphic design and graphic art. Design stylistically varies between every project. The visual language for a diaper brand is nothing like the visual language for Audi cars. When visual styles are applied across the spectrum of clients, the role of the designer has shifted to the artist. Art is extremely gimmicky, and while I am not saying design is not; art falls in a more visual realm. If one spent anytime going through San Francisco's low art scene, they would find an interchangeable mesh of artists that all create work that looks almost identical. This reliance on style differentiates design from art. Design can not be dependent of visual style, and a designer can not place one visual style on all their work. I see this too much, where it is quite apparent that one person has worked on numerous projects for numerous clients and audiences. Usually the end result is not favorable.

Art and Design are two very separate practices. Both extremely valuable and in their own worlds relevant, but are too often considered the same thing. I am not an artist, I rely too much on communication, and the artist who think they are designer rarely think of their message. The differentiation is an important one to note, and realize when working with others.

Now go buy Mr. Beiruts book. It is a good one.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love technology and am constantly craving the new gadget that comes out. The iPhone for example; I really don't like much about it, but I want one. Why? Probably just the hype, but it is a sexy little device, and for that I have more than once contemplated dropping the money. However, technology in a number of ways has a huge impact on our daily lives with both positive and negative affects. Communicating is made easier where we can talk much easier and in real-time with those far away or otherwise can't reach. But for those that are not too far away it is a limiting factor that hurts the interaction between people.

I am online all day, I have a desk job, and am constantly receiving emails and am on ichat at all times; so I don't think it is really that much of a shock that I talk to people consistently through those mediums. I am at work and online, you are at work and online; Awesome, lets chat. But I do find it strange when I only speak with people through those mediums and I live within a few miles of them, where I could just as easily ride to their house, go get a cup of coffee, or even call them rather then relying on emails, chatting, or (the worst) myspace to deliver a communication.

Now, (this next part may be a bit harsh) I seem to make some distinctions with people and my relationship with them via the way I communicate with them. Close friends I would never consider emailing to see if they want to go for a ride, or wait till they are online to ask how they are doing, and I would expect the same in return. If you truly want to speak with someone and know how they are doing, then I would think the effort to actually pick up the phone or go grab some coffee is an easy task, or in turn receiving the call or invite would be a nice gesture however short or long. Now, not all people are close friends that I get to see on a constant basis due to spatial or temporal conflicts, so online chatting seems to make up for that. Drop a hello, see how things are, etc, but it seems pretty superficial at the same time. Communication in online forms is distant and easily misinterpreted and I do not think compares to sitting down and having an honest interaction with someone. Online communication is limiting our abilities to have meaningful friendships that may not even get the chance to occur since we are too busy talking behind a screen. I would love to step away from the keyboard and go grab a cup of coffee or a short ride and actually talk about things, and probably get to know the person a bit better than if they say 'lol' or rofl' or whatever new acronym is currently being used. When I get emails or myspace messages from people that are within walking distance of where I am at, I have to question there actual intent for such a dialogue. I am not interested in having a gigantic list of 'buddies' or thousands of myspace friends. I want friendships of quality, not quantity, and if the desire on both parties isn't there to pursue an actual friendship, then it probably isn't worth the time.

Now I realize that there is a huge irony in this, and even hypocrisy on my part, and I am not speaking of everyone. There are countless people that I have been able to meet through this site and myspace that I have not met in person (though hopefully a number of those I will eventually) and would not have met otherwise. Those people I am not directing this at, and in fact I am not really directing this to anyone at all. I just wish that it was a bit simpler to step away from the computer and focus on those things that are immediately around you.

On another note,
I am going to be adding comments on after this post. I would love to hear from the, i think, 3 people that read this on what they think about the crap I say. Keep it positive, so only productive criticism. I will be managing the comments since I don't want this to go the hate route that too many other forums I used to frequent have. Hope to hear from you all soon!

Haruki Murakami is one of my favorite authors. His surreal stories throughout Japan interweaving his characters and their existential journeys. The majority of his protagonists are common and usually casual through their course in life. 'Flowing' through their existence with what comes to them with little drive what should be expected from them on a societal level. Often loners, they do what is needed or what ought to be done with little concern for themselves. Things simply exist because they do. I can't help but find countless similarities with these novels and their characters.

The path that we choose is in many ways already pre-decided. What choices you may or may not have are extremely limited with the context of the society and world we live in. It is rare that you are able to break free from those constraints and simply flow the path that is yours. Flow is largely something that is forced upon us, in which we must flow to other standards and not our own. Of course, you can view this flow through countless variables, but all are nothing more than a directional system pre-established. You, me, and everyone that exists in this world. For the most part, this is seemingly how it has always been, but often times people are simply forcing things upon themselves to follow a particular flow. Now, I am not trying to talk of 'free will,' but something much more basic than that. We all choose, but this is almost the reverse where choosing is not choosing. Lately I have been trying to look at my place in this construct, my job, my family, and the people I have around me. Sometimes letting go of things shows which things are impactful on my life and which are not. Which I realize I do not need, for when they are not there I am able to see what they mean to me. The sad truth is that I find a large part of these things indifferent. I prefer to see what flow I find myself in rather than struggling for a flow that I think may be ideal, and in the process getting thrown around amongst the currents. I am trying to search for the flow within myself.

Right now, I find books and novels in which I am constantly finding gems of truth, understanding, and relation to what I am feeling. I feel as if the journey that Toru Okada is taking in 'The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle' is the same as my own, and as such hoping to find some markers as to where my flow is. It is largely an individual task, and something I feel is extremely lonely though not depressing. I feel ok with what I am doing, without 'that' which is around me, and realizing I am possibly seeing things a bit more clearly. I can accept the way things are around me and simply keep existing and see what happens when. Now the reverse of this is I freak out, and just leave, jumping into another completely new flow and for some reason that doesnt seem that bad too. I guess if there is nothing keeping in this flow, moving, even dramatically, is not really forcing myself from it.

But I digress to Murakami. His stories are amazing pieces of literature and cover such a broad range of philosophies and human interaction. It is beautifully written and brings a depth to his writing that is infinitely deep but transparent on the surface (unlike my own writing). I highly suggest reading any of his books or short stories (or even if you must, watch 'Tony Takitani' which is based off one of his short stories. It is beautiful). The trials that occur in his novels are similar to those that we encounter in our lives, though the methods in which those characters react is what I feel creates the fiction for it is rare that individuals are open to wear the flow may take them.

What if stupid left the world? What if all the ignorant actions that people conducted on a daily basis ceased? Rational thought and dialogue accompanied by a slight pause ruled the world?

On a daily basis, I (like countless other people suppose) are confronted with the stupidity (for lack of a better word) of others and are also the cause of some I am sure. I know I try to give thought to my words and actions before they leave me, but it is difficult to catch it all. It seems recently I have been acutely aware of the stance and positioning of others around me, and it makes living in society extremely uncomfortable. I have previously stated (I think) that we live in an ignorant world, where certain areas more than others illicit almost nothing beneficial to the world they live in. I live in San Francisco, 'the most european city in the U.S.' and definitely one of the most liberal, yet the ignorance and stupidity that is still shown here is amazing.

I come to this from a couple areas in my life from my workplace, hostile as it is, and the streets, where the war of bicycles versus cars is waged. On a daily basis I am honked at, and brushed by cars as I ride around this city. I am yelled at, confronted, and cut off continually almost always for naught. Fighting to get in front of me only to get to the red light first. Brushing past me within touching distance when a full lane is open to the left. Why? Why must people be so irrational, impatient, and frankly assholes? More often than not, when words are exchanged, the next challenge is to fight, and again why? Are we that ignorant, brutish, and stupid to further denigrate ourselves by thinking that fighting will solve the wrong? But in all honesty, fuck it, I will take the fight for I feel that one, backing down is cowardice, and two, I can explain the situation without feeling any wrong. There isn't a whole lot of honor in letting people act stupid and get away with it. Kind makes you just as bad through accomplice.

On a much larger scale, look at war. What if the U.S. hadn't been run by a bunch of asshole who through us into a war that we are losing miserably? What if the religious right would step down from their pedestal of bigotry and secularism? What if all this stupidity without ration left the world? Would it be possible to live a life where everyone is able to enjoy basic luxuries? A lot of questions, but so many I wish could happen. I would give up much of what I have if it could be given to others to make their lives better or shed happiness.

Now I try to check myself before my actions to ensure I am doing what I feel is correct, and though difficult to consistently catch everything, for the most part I do. Things are too easily misconstrued, found offensive though not intended, and at times just a stupid thing to do or say. Slight pause is all it seems to take, from quickly checking what it is you are saying, to taking a moment to pause and not try to complete the task as quickly as possible. Causing harm, in any form, just isn't worth it. From hurting feelings to running someone off the road. Y'all just need to chill, take a breath, and take a look around. Word? Word.

Kind of a random post, but the idea is there. Also, the new 3 Inches of Blood is out, rock that!

First, long time no post. Fairwhether is going to go through some changes. I have had to re-organize somethings and everything will get rolling once again real soon. And though I hate these type of 'blog' posts I am going to give you something to watch instead of telling you what is wrong with my world.

http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/view/id/50

Stefan Sagmeister is epic. His work, his attitude, his lists. Pure gold. Sagmeister = Inspiration.

P.S. The 2012 London Olympic logo is bad. I want to love it, but it is just bad. However, any logo that can cause seizures gets some cred in my book.

I just across this new video (or ad) online.

http://www.typerecords.com/upload/Asimo_Commercial.mov

It struck me as fascinating. I was shocked and slightly disturbed by the actions of the robot, so curious and cautious. I am assuming that the robot is controlled, though I know that they have created the technology for many of those actions to be accomplished by the robot itself. (See skateboarding robot, bike riding robot, conversing robot... all out of Japan.)

So, I'm a bit confused as to why I find it so fascinating and slightly un-nerving at the same time. The actions and movements seem so lifelike, similar to that of a child. It is amazing to see the duplication of what seem to be solely animal characteristics portrayed in a machine. But what does this say about our existence? Are we coming close to a place where we can understand through science why we exist? This could easily lead itself to other metaphysical questions about why we exist and whether or not we have souls (blah blah blah), and is it possible to create a soul? What is it that makes life so special and unique? The fact that every living thing to some extent has an individual will, and is placing this will into an object placing it on the same level as our existence? Just a note, I realize that it is partially absurd to be creating 'levels' of existence, and I am mainly putting that in for sake of arguement. I do not want to think of or promote heirarchical positions to life. I think it is simple enough to say all life is equally important.

Where technology goes is an unknown. Within my life I will probably see the completion of AI and where that leads. Im interested to see the reaction to AI and whether or not some of my values and opinions are shared, or it goes the route of the Matrix. Where ever it does go, I am intrigued about this ad and how compassionate you can feel towards a robot, or something without that we know as emotion. But, that also leads to another question, and what is emotion? A brilliant video to help open up discussions and thought on subjects that are usually ignored.

Vegans have recently been in international news due to the folly of a couple and their child in Atlanta Georgia. First, I will admit, they fucked up. For those who may not be familiar, the couple caused the death of their infant child through malnourishment derived from their vegan beliefs. They are now both serving life in prison for their ignorance. I have seen this article spark debate/conversation a number of websites, and having followed it on cnn.com and bbc.co.uk, I have been looking at how the articles have been written and how the 'public' is perceiving them, and I have been disheartened on all accounts.

First off, I must say, that I am vegan and have been for roughly the last 7 years. It is a lifestyle I believe in, and while my current convictions aren't as strong or opinionated as they once were, I still subscribe to this choice in diet. I do believe that a vegan diet can be an extremely healthy one and the benefits to health, agricultural, economical, and environmental sectors is un paralleled by any other diet. But I am not writing here to tell why veganism is a good option. I am trying to cover how this is another portrayal of ignorance and intolerance on behalf of those who write the media and those reading it.

Starting with the coverage in the media, there is an obvious stance on how they are portraying this couple and subsequently vegans in general. I want to iterate again, that what these people did is incredibly dumb and they ought to be brought to some form of justice through their ignorance. Having a child is a responsibility not to be taken lightly or ignored. Now, the media links these peoples actions as a sort of pre-requisite to all vegans. They are placing all vegans under one umbrella here and using these people as the example. Frankly, you can't do that, and I am once again dismayed about how the media has portrayed something that is largely unknown and/or misunderstood. On the bbc article, they went on to directly link to an article that states that the vegan diet is a disastrous one and that you can't get all the nutrients you need unless you eat meat. Plain and simple, not true. I am proof. Tests from both sides, carnivores and vegetarians, have shown time and time again that they are right, but the main point is that the mainstream news is supposed to be objective in this matter, which it clearly is not.

How the portrayal in the news is casting a grim light on vegans is having an impact on how many people perceive this lifestyle. While already not commonly understood, and cast in a wierd light of 'hippy-dom', the tolerance and open-ness to learning about something prior to judgement is becoming more difficult. On Newstoday, a design web portal of all sites, there was a thread with a number of derogatory comments towards vegans, and this couple. Granted I am not defending the couple, though the death of their infant was due to stupidity, not malicious intent or veganism. While no one voices a supportive voice for vegans, the mob furthers takes the stance in an extremist area. I would have not been surprised to see the Al Qaeda is the result of Vegans somewhere down the line. Where did all the objectivity and understanding go? Have we not learned through countless horrors in this world that things are rarely black and white, and that you can't pass judgement before understanding what you are judging?

The main point is that understanding on open-ness to others is something that we should not lose in this current world. At constant conflict with all aspects of life, I only wish tolerance and understanding would prevail prior to casting judgement and sending people to the gallows (strong metaphors I know). I do not assume that everyone will agree, but learning what it is you are discussing is a responsibility that we all have and must own up to.

Thanks for hearing me out, if you made it this far.

Moments of overwhelming thoughts/feelings/direction. Lifes unexpected capacity to throw everything it has at you while you struggle to simply stay afloat in the rising tide of necessity and desire. Blindly walking a library of maps all leading to drastically opposite ends of any spectrum. It is all evident that life can get hectic from time to time, trying to choose what needs to be done, what you want to be done, and what 'can' be done. As life continues on, it becomes more and more evident that these differences become all the more difficult to choose from. As one thing is resolved, another is created. A non-stop catching up that never seems to end, and that it seems, is what life is.

Life is and will always be complicated and tangled. It is key, at least for myself, to find a way to clarify and prioritize aspects in my life according to what I feel is the most important and beneficial to myself. Currently this is an easy prospect, while at the same time, a very difficult one. Work will remain work. Until the professional work comes to a place where I am happy to be doing it, it is a paycheck, and a necessary one. It is not the worst of jobs, but a job none-the-less, and while not always the most stimulating, constantly a learning experience. And for that it is beneficial. Friends also are important. In an earlier post I called San Francisco the city of acquaintances, and that it is. Trying to focus on those friendships and relationships that matter is extremely important. I am glad to be pushing a few, and have recently became happy to lose a few. Learning how to tell what is actually beneficial and what is solely something that will hurt is something that I found to be a necessity. And while it is not always so easy to decide which end of the spectrum a relationship may fall, it is always a learning experience one way or the other. That logic is something that is applied to everything, not just relationships, but most commonly so. Fairwhether. Started as a desire to collaborate and create. No direction in mind, but knowing that there is one, and that it will become clear as it comes 'to be.' It is coming 'to be' and will continue to do so, but like anything I involve myself, it is not at the expedited rate that I wish. Am I expecting too much of myself and Fairwhether? Probably, but I choose to not let that be an excuse. I know Fairwhether is something that is me, and something I need to continue to focus on. Like the friendships I want to see blossom, and the work I want to do, these are all very important items that need my focus, and it is key that I learn how to find the projects and prospects that will help push those items.

Focus is a necessity. I need to be able to see what are main objectives in my life and focus on those particulars rather than too many things. There will always be too many things out there for me to be distracted by, but hopefully only momentarily, and the primary ideas come back into focus. For now, it is enjoying friends and Fairwhether. Two things that I know I can help form, enjoy and help me push myself in the directions I need 'to be.'

Fairwhether is my Ariadne.

There are few things in life that hold the same impact as music. I feel safe in saying that music is the current of our lives, flowing and forming events/periods. I can say that music has a huge role in how I live, and though I am not a musician, I wish I could better speak the language that is music, creating my own words with sound. The language of music is more powerful than the vocal or written, communicating emotion with such force without a single word. The music that speaks most loudly, and I am most drawn to is that which evokes from me the most emotion. I have one band that has been my favorite for a few years now, and I have been lucky enough to call all the members friends. Very few bands can evoke the sense of desperation, hope, and everything in between, all in one song, or give me chills with the strength of their songs even after I have heard it hundreds of times.

From Monument to Masses is bar none the most amazing band I have ever heard. Three friends from the Bay Area (sadly Francis has left us for NY) creating songs that speak louder than any other band I know with any amount of singing or screaming. There is just little I can say that do these guys justice. The music speaks for itself. All three as individuals cast a large shadow, making me want to strive to be a better person for they are all extremely intelligent and engaged within their communities, cultures, and friends. They are simply some of the most amazing people I have ever met, and I am glad that I am able to know and work on projects with them.

With no singer, they rely on samples and the pure emotion of their instruments. Following a constantly aware political conscience, all the songs contain the struggle of those all over the world that are oppressed. I feel anger, sadness, hope, and compassion, and all within the same song. Each song contains various transitions where three or four songs fuse into one, conveying all these emotions, as if a story. To take it to an alternate level, they represent to me Post-Modern communication in music. A barrage of sounds that form together into one communication that is subjective yet consistently following a narrative. And a narrative that is stronger from the combination of signs, than the constant structure found in music. Either way, no band has ever had such an effect on myself. Wanting so much to destroy, yet cry at the same time, all spawned from one song. How music shapes my, our, lives is amazing, and I am glad I have this here to empower my mood, or change it for better or worse. From Monument to Masses is the soundtrack of my life, and millions around the world.

I truly love these guys and their music. If you get the chance, one of their few shows coming up is at Bottom of the Hill on April twentieth. You should really come out.

I have lived in San Francisco since 2001. Prior to that I spent the first 21 years of my life in San Diego. San Diego is where I grew up, where I can say I somehow came to the place I am at today, and the reason I left to come to San Francisco. My mother's house is still there, the place was raised since I was born, but that structure is just another building i lived in, not my home. Home brings a much deeper meaning of immediate place, integration, and comfort, all of which can not be accurately described through language. San Francisco has never really felt quite like home either and I am not sure what it takes for me to finally feel as if any one location is, but recently something has changed.

I spent a few days in the beautiful Seattle area with Dustin, chilling out and scheming on various projects. I had a great time, and another short freak out, where I was willing to drop everything in SF, and move to Seattle to pursue a more 'pure' design binge (I do this quite a bit). Feeling refreshed with a new sense of perspective on where I am heading with my life, returning to San Francisco was a bit strange, hesitant but nice. For the first time, San Francisco felt like home. As I got off BART and chose to walk slightly more grime-y streets through the Tenderloin to my studio, something felt good about being back. I felt as if I had a sense of place here, that this was where I should be. But, I have not really been able to discover why or what has changed.

San Francisco is a city that both inspires and infuriates me. So many positive things with so many negatives, yet I still retain a strange connection. San Francisco is a mash-up of so many different things, and I think this may be part of what makes me feel at home. I tend to think it is something more along this route of looking at San Francisco as an entity of itself. The people within the city are something as a whole I do not connect with, but I also can not connect with the most of the people in this country. However, there is enough here that I can connect with and that tension between those two sides are one of the common things in everyones life.

Whether it be looking at our current state of affairs inside the USA (in relation to our current state of affairs outside the USA), or just looking at the suits that occupy the area in which I work, I am not able to grasp how these people live their lives. How they think and act seems so strangely foreign to me. I can not understand, in relation to my own thinking and acting, how they live the lifestyles they do. Whether it be necessary or not to need this connection or understanding I am not sure, but I would like to have my own understanding of others, and how to interact with them, which is part of communicating and thus my role as a designer. This inability to place myself into their shoes without looking with an intense amount of criticism is really only something that I experience in this country.

Outside of this country I am in constant awe and have respect of the people and how they live. How I try to explain this is, that within the USA the people by majority have quite a bit (read opportunity), and yet still retain a strong amount of ignorance. An example is the Iraq War, and the current president. Leading up, the majority believed, almost blindly, that the President was correct in his reasoning to go to war. Now there is still nearly 40 percent of the population that still believe he was correct, when countless inconsistencies have been revealed and no consequence to the his error. On another level, it is a contrast of the 'haves' versus the 'have-nots'. The people of this country, and others within the world, who live with little or nothing garner much more respect and admiration from myself. I feel a connection via that respect that I do not get from many people here in the USA, something similar to a sense of wisdom and understanding through struggle that I do not find as common here. While this is not just a monetary issue, many European countries reveal themselves to me as just being more open and intelligent in how they live. Not finding a connection inside the country I currently reside is a problem since my role as a designer is to communicate with those people. Outside the context of design, I am not too concerned with not identifying with a large majority of people around me. I wish I could, but realize it is inevitable that I can't on many levels. As long as I continue to be open to the possibility.

While as a whole it is difficult to find commonalities en mass, quality relationships are as result, impossible. These sprout up consistently, and while few seem to weather the temporal storm, I am happy to know a number of people through a variety of cities that help push me in a positive and wise direction. For these friendships I am extremely grateful. Without them I would be not be doing what I am doing today. I just hope that I can further see in people the qualities that are beneficial and keep them going.

Time to live more with heart.

From where does the creative drive stem? These past few weeks I have been riding the waves of creativity, one week constantly in front of the computer with a serious drive to create, and the next, trying to run out of work as quickly as possible to hop on the bike. It is a difficult balance between keeping attention directed towards the design aspects of my life, and to the other socio-athletic interests. Being creative for a living, I am constantly hunting down inspirational work, and things that just make me want to constantly be thinking of my life in a critical method, in other words, designing my life. Often times, design magazines are a great source for this. The most recent STEP has a great selection of pieces from the past year and displays a great retrospective of work from throughout the country in different mediums, formats, and styles. Recently, however, the most inspirational items I have found are interior design and fashion.

I cannot be sure if this is a result of myself becoming a designer, or a reflection of how I found my path towards design, but I have always been interested in interior design. Currently, trying to find nice furniture to decorate and spatially divide my apartment is a fun and challenging task. Trying to learn about furniture, finding intricacies in detail and design is one part. Realizing the quality costs, and what makes the quality in particular designs is hard to see at first, but the other part. Playing with spaces and how items can affect flow and feel of a room, as well as learning how to achieve your goals on a very limited budget is a design task that is very rewarding for myself. I put a lot of stock in a home, and when it feels nice, I feel nice. *Just a note, but less is always more.

A common thing I try and do is weekly, or at least bi-weekly, spend time in a magazine shop (Borders) reading the current issues of any design related magazine. Recently being hooked on magazines like Dwell, Surface, Wallpaper, GQ, and the normal design mags like Grafik, CMYK, and Idea, I have been feeling more inspired by the former selections. Looking at design as a lifestyle rather than an occupation, and that everything I do, from dressing myself to how I furnish my apartment, is 'designed.' Such is a reason why I am becoming interested in Fashion Design.

Dustin has been running Cadence clothing for awhile now, and seeing how he develops his clothes and brand has made me wish I knew more about the construction of clothing. I wish I could alter and create clothing as I liked, making adjustments to garments I purchase where ever seemingly necessary. As my lifestyle changes, I am becoming more interested in how I present myself, at work and with other people. Starting to look at fashion shows and trends to what I would call 'designed' clothing, I am placing value into the opinions of people and their designs. People like J. Lindeberg, Dries Van Noten, or Martin Margiela. What I find in a number of these designers is casual-refined clothing. Things I can wear anytime and look 'nice' but not overly dressed. As a designer I can appreciate that aspect of versatility while keeping a nice design. Other designers like Wood Wood and Ann Hagen are equally interesting for their takes on wardrobes and cuts (the terms here are probably wrong, but I am not a fashion designer, and still trying to learn. Work with me here), but I personally am not quite ready to wear some of those styles on the street. By exploring fashion designers, I am able to pick the things out that I like, then make them happen, but shopping cheaply (H&M, which is frankly the shit in my opinion) or finding things on sale. Seeing how Dustin is able to approach Cadence, also makes me wish I could place my own voice into the construction of the clothing. Learn how to sew, make hems, how to cut fabric, etc. Learning how the medium works seems like a necessary step in educating about fashion.

As a designer, I want to be able to communicate through all aspects of my life, through graphic print work, clothing, or my apartment. It is all at the very least a communication of myself. As I learn more about these other areas that I am not formally trained in, I try to learn as much as possible so I can 'design' with a knowledge of the subject matter. Hopefully in the future, if I am ever lucky enough to be running my own studio, I will be able to play in fashion and interior design, and this introductory period would be helpful. But for now, I will take the inspiration from whatever sources, and anything that gets me excited about design in general.

The term 'Design' is often used extremely liberally in a variety of contexts. That is partially the subjective beauty of the term, that its' meaning spans a broad ranges of practises and trades. However, that is also the part that tends to need context to further describe a personal role in the action of designing.

I refer to myself as a designer. One who designs, who solves, who communicates, who creates. All of these things, and design is a term that I can use that applies to all of those actions and spans across a number of fields. While my trade by day is Graphic Design, I would call myself a designer, for my job is not solely limited to printed matters. This is all referring to the Design (with a capital D) as the practise, or being of Design (though design itself does not have existence. Another topic for another post.)

Design as an act is an entirely different matter and one that is used without refrain too often. As a designer, I commit a certain amount of knowledge in the execution of a piece. For example, I design a poster by setting type, choosing images, selecting color, creating composition, and so forth. I design a brand by finding the tools necessary to communicate through an audience, then form them to be most effective using a lot of actions I used in the sentence prior. I design a chair by creating the form, molding the features, and accentuating the spatial nuances. These are examples of design. Designing is not choosing the color of a hub, design is not taking pre-existing graphics and changing the type to say another company, and design is not art. Design takes more insight and process than simply choosing color or 'stealing' artwork created by someone else. Someone who thinks they are designing without any actual knowledge of the practise they are executing is fooling themselves and casting a poor light on Design. I personally am very wary of saying I have designed anything that has not solely been created by me. In my office, projects can be handed to various individuals throughout the creation. I can not say that I designed these pieces. They are not my idea, and I am working from pieces that have been created by someone else. My voice is only a part, and unless my voice is by far the loudest in the process, then 'I' have not designed it. 'We,' the design team have. Another example is I even become wary of people who 'design' shoes saying they design them. They really do not design anything, but choose from a list of materials and colors, and in that sense, anyone with a Nike ID account is a designer. That notion degrades design to a common level, which is not the case. Design is not something everyone can do. While some people are naturally inclined, try going to school for it, and you will learn that it is a long road of learning to become a designer.

I am personally troubled by this and am writing about it since it is my life. It is what I have chosen to do for a living, and like design, I am critical. I observe and question everything around me. This is just something that I have noticed recently, and want to expose this thought so that others may realize the differences in design. While not everyone can see the intricacies in design, or even what may be differences between ok and amazing design, the hope to create a critical, yet constructive dialogue exists.

Everything is a reflection. Originating from one point, hitting a subject, then returning. Everything is a reflection, sometimes more than once removed. You are always author and reader within this act of reflection. The subject or object is simply a mirror. How can one perceive reality with truth (of course a transcendental word) when one is writing the very text one reads? Furthermore, how can I be an author and reader if I am only able to write my own text? If everything is truly connotative then how can their be truths?

The author is truly dead because no one is reading.

I have recently been trying to understand my path in design. Where it is I am heading with what goals in mind? What do I try to express when approaching a problem? What is my process in my work? Many questions that I want to explain succinctly and clearly. For now, my answer is to create an understanding through design, by referencing the 'there' that is not 'there' in the initial conception of the idea.

I view design as a problem with the intention of communication. The problem is how do you as a designer convey the message in a particular form with a specific subject in mind? For example, a dance troupe comes to me for a poster for an upcoming performance series. Simple enough; format is decided (a poster) and the subject matter is fairly obvious ( a dance performance). BUT how do I as the designer create an impressionable, graphically-intriguing poster that may (it does not have to, though I would the final solution is stronger as such) aim at trying to expose more about what the performance entails than simply dance. Now there are countless ways this can be excuted, though I feel that many designers, including myself, are seeking ways of adding meaning to the poster through portraying the subject matter in an unfamiliar context. By showing the 'there' that is not 'there.' The aim is to bring relevance and insight by showing other objects that may un-noticingly help create the meaning associated with the original subject.

A real life example is a poster series Bob Aufuldish did for the MFArch lecture series at CCA. Using imagery of jellyfish Bob was able to create a visually interesting poster that was able to speak more about the subject than a simple picture of, say, the structures designed by those speaking. Through metaphor, the jellyfish represented structure without structure. Objects that have form, but are manipulated by the currents around them, much like architecture in their surrounding environments. With a little thought, the jellyfish becomes an extremely strong metaphor through contrast. Such is the goal I strive for in my design projects, often able to add supplemental meaning about something when not directly addressing it (though the contrast is not always necessary or pursued. Supplemental meaning can be added in other ways).

This idea is nothing new, and one of post-modern thought. We understand what objects are by what they are not. If I did not know what a dog was, I wouldn't know that a cat is not a dog, or a chair is not a dog. Jacque Derrida coined the term Différance to explain, though in much more detail, that understanding is known through absence. it is a valuable tool to realize what it is you are working with through ideas or objects that hold alternative ideas on how to address the same subject.

So, the aim of my work is to hopefully create visually-enticing through provoking pieces of design that can add meaning to the original subject matter. The process is much more tricky, and one that is reflective of each problem. I am on a path of learning, one that will not stop, for their is always something new to learn and always a new problem to solve. What my process is something a bit more complicated, and the process is something that is continually on-going. Why do I design?

This is not finished, and it has not yet begun. If something doesn't end, it could never have started. ...

There have been many things on my mind as of late, and I need to reflect my thoughts on this digital paper so that I can get a better look at them.

God is in the details, a common phrase referencing the transcendental qualities found within certain items/places/things that are lost in the gestalt of framing (I use gestalt in the artistic sense here, not the philosophical, referring to a number of elements creating one large composition). In photography, for example, I find that my eye is often lead to particular points in the image, and usually not what I feel the first author of that image intends. As my own author, I notice small items that bring other relevance/meaning into the context of the shot shifting the complete read of that image. In design, it is the same thing. Small items such as folios [edit: Folios are page numbers. Forgive me if you knew, and forgive me if you didn't. Just want to be clear.] can often lead to a bigger representation of a concept, at once creating stability in a spread and unifying the whole book. In life it is the same things. The small things that matter most.

When looking at life as a continuous item, spanding many years it is rather flat. Looking at small items in that life you see that there are key events that made pivotal changes in your life. Looking even closer on that timeline of life, there are the everyday things that make difference. It is these highlights that make life worthwhile. For the most part, people come and go. They run their path, some famous, some not, and that path eventually ends. In a very large sense, we are all the same, it makes no difference whether you are worth $10,000,000 or $10, it is the details that matter, and with those everyone has the ability to be impactful.

I was just out riding a bit in a beautifully clear, but rainy night here in San Francisco. I spent my time riding along Embarcadero, stopping off at a view points I like to check out every now and then to admire the city, and think about things that are going on in my life. Tonight I realized that my life is rather inconsequential, that I am merely one of an almost infinite number of people in the world. My moving around in the city leaves little impact. My current job gives little satisfaction to myself or those I aim to communicate with. My existence is non-existant. Which leads me back to my original point. In this existence where I am lost in the contemporary world, there is little I can do but find my bearings. I need to find Ariadne's thread. For me, I feel that this thread is learning as much about as many things as possible. It is not a question of learning a subject and becoming very skilled in it, but the process of learning that is key. Covering as many areas as possible helps fill the gaps of my identity, by filling them with knowledge of people, places, ideas, cultures... anything that is new and allows me items to create understanding.

In my professional career, I am just starting and I have a long ways to go. However, within this context, I am a designer. I communicate, and I can transcribe that communication through any medium I choose. I hope that those mediums broaden for me so that I may one day design a building, a collection of clothing, a scultpure, a chair, or just simply create pieces of art. This is my goal and I will not let anything stop that. Those are my little things that on a large scale are nothing, but to me the pivotal points of my life that will create a gestalt that I would be happy with knowing I did that.


Wow, sorry, that was a pile of crap entry. Re-reading this, I feel as if I am a bit off topic, and I don't want this blog to become some sort of personal diary. As I said before, there are much better things to be discussing than such self-masturbatory items like my issues and work. However, there are few things in this post that I do think are relevant and can be left in, which is why I am putting this live and not deleting it right now. After all, what does it matter since no one reads this anyway, and it's not like you can leave comments. So if you read this far, sorry, go ride your bike, dont be sitting on the internets.

I have been feeling flickr lately. It is being a great souce of inspiration and wanting to shoot more photos, while a nice networking tool. Check it out here.

Flickr.

Que hubo? Bright lights, slippery ice. 1, 2, 3, doored. My planar reality is shifting on the d axis. Combination plates, egg rolls and enchiladas. Subconcious overboard. Starboard. Dance with me, Star machine. All gone down. Davey Jones can go sit in the crows nest. Give me the deed. Little Johnny said he already went up the apple tree and all the apples flew away. But there was a crow, and he said in between the eye in his beak that the party is already over. Might as well use the rope. Sunshine in my window, lapping my face. The day as golden as Midas. Digital interfaces snoring, and the manual override hard to press on. The trail grows wide and we make three days progress. I sit beneath my desk afraid of the dark. Where is the hood? You always have a hood on. Rhubarb. Stepping on shattered marbles, their glimmer whispers the duality of allusion is really an illusion of singularity playing a trick. Yesterday is going to be great. I smelled the flowers and ate them too. Screw the cake. What good is a knee if the water isnt hard. San Jose, crazy cool. Opiate destiny exhaled, but lingers like stale trash. Should have recycled.

Forgive me for this post is not beginning with any one topic in mind. I am just going to start and see where it goes. I have had quite a few things on my mind as of late, so here it goes.

Life is struggle. It is not easy and I don't think it is meant to be. Lately this has been extremely evident to me. Constantly bombarded with the good and the bad, it seems as if life will never release the pressure. So many things that cause pain, stress, sadness, but there are few that seem to make those negatives disappear.

Today was a typical day. Work, deadlines, stress, and all quite a bit for a Monday. By lunch I was ready for a break, and feeling a little more down than usual. Two things happened on my way home for my daily dose of peanut butter and jelly, and I had two interactions that made my day seem worthwhile. First, right as I was crossing Grant, a couple asked me to take their photo in front of the Chinatown gates. Simple enough, and I was glad to help them. A small gesture of friendliness that I hope shows that not everyone is cold and cruel in this country. Farther up Bush, I was walking along and a man asked me if I could help him. I almost didn't realize he was speaking to me, but did catch on before I was past. He needed help assisting a lady in a wheelchair up a few stairs into their building. The lady was missing her feet, and it seemed like it was hard enough, the man couldn't get her up easily on his own. I wasn't sure where I could grab hold of the chair, but I found my grip and helped them up the stairs. The man thanked me, and the lady did as well, though with a touching sincerity in her voice. Something about the way she said thank you was deep and more profound than the usual exchange. I am not sure what it was, but it struck a note with me and I have been remembering it since.

Those two events made this day worthwhile for me. Where so many things are seemingly pushing me down, two small exchanges make it better. Reflecting on those interactions and why I am still thinking about them, I can only see that the fact that I was able to help others made me feel good.

When I speak of struggle, I really know nothing of what I am talking about. I know nothing of struggle. I have had a relatively easy life without any serious complications, so to speak of struggle as if I can truly understand is extremely naïve of myself. I can not speak from first hand experience, but I have seen it first hand. I have seen what is common for people to live with in a number of places in the world. Especially in the streets of Oaxaca and Los Caracoles of the EZLN in Chiapas. In those regions are the people that know of struggle; the struggle to stay alive, and I wish I could help them. Their struggle is not mine, and I feel as if it is belittling to assume I can understand what theirs is like. I know my power to help them is limited, but I do give them my support in anyway I can and my respect.

Such respect is what I would like to give most people around me, especially the old lady and man I helped today. My struggle is their struggle; the struggle of the Zapatistas in Chiapas, mi amiga Maricela and her family in the streets of Oaxaca, and the old lady that has lost both of her feet. My struggle is to understand their struggle and give them the respect that they deserve, for those are the people that have earned it. I feel this is something that we forget here in this country where we are all very fortunate, though some more than others. I hope never to forget, and to only further understand my struggle through the struggle of others.

Quality of Life. Happiness reigning over an 8x8 black and white slab of maple. Conquest until conquered and in the black lands the fish fly like birds of paradise. Sunlight reflecting off shimmering pupils in the dull warm grey of spring. Sand blows in a cylindrical column, though the hands are really quite redundant. As the answer is really quite easy, such as 2+3=4.5, I flip the switch. Beauty turns left then right then left again. Coreander spice makes my mouth water for the phone to ring. Once, twice, disconnected. Realization is like a Pan softly playing his lyre on a floating island of carcasses. So sweet the sound of crashing marbles gliding in a pool of ozone. Retreat unnecessary such like pb and j sticks to your toes making it impossible to reach the moon. Waxing hypothetic, my phase ain't no thing but a dime in a $2 tollbooth. I close my eyes and illuminate the it that I live for. Quintessence modularity forced upon the planar reality.

What speaks louder? Words or action? I think the more common would of course be action. Definitely my choice. Actions are much more clear and decisive than words. Language is slippery, often capable of meaning completely different things than intended, and almost completely unreliable without context. Actions make the blurriness in the interpretation of language much more clear. For example, I do something nice for someone, but somehow kind of ruin the situation with my words. A minor example, but one that I hope demonstrates that though I am not so suave with the words or have a hard time expressing things clearly, the action makes it apparent that I am not being inconsiderate nor trying to something nice. No matter what the case, actions seemingly speak louder than words, be it good or bad. I try to look past the works and to the actions of people, which is often times the only truly revealing way of finding who that person is.

Now, who am I? I really have no idea. I know my above example is something that happens consistently, so I would definitely say I am not a man of words, nor would I honestly call myself a man of action. I am much too hesitant for that, constantly trying to see what may be best in any given situation. Though I do realize that the actions in the end are what matter, and thought is often times nice, but also unforgiving when showing feeling. I can think all I want, but with the follow through of action, the thought is rendered inconsequential. All I can see is that I am created by the actions I do commit.

Currently my life is focused around only a few actions. Two main ones that I would consider something that defines me. One, I am a cyclist, and two I am a designer -- in that order. I like to ride cycles, bi or uni, as long as it has wheels. Riding is the main thing in my life right now. While I am not so centric on it as I was, it is and has been for the last few years the one thing that has always made me happy. With all the negative in my life, I can always go for a ride and feel good about it while I am doing it. The rest of the world disappears. For this I am truly grateful, and quite shocked. I would never have guessed six years ago that I would be riding a bike, and definitely not like I do now. I see riding as something that I won't give up for a long time to come, just the type of bike I predominantly ride may change. But for now, anything with pedals and at least one wheel is a blast to ride. (Yeah, I got unicycle skills, what?!) For this importance in my life, I say this is my most defining action.

Other than riding, Design is my career and second main action. I love design and am glad that I get to do this for a living. At times it can be a bit much, and I wish I was at a point where I could do the type of work for the type of clients I I want, but I know I am not there yet. Someday, but until then, I am complacent where I am at. I realize I have a long time to go in the game of design, but right now this is secondary to riding.

It is riding that makes me who I am today, for without it I would be a mess. As my interest in bikes grow, and i slowly ride more and more different types of bikes, I only see my enthusiasm grow. It might not always be the main thing in my life, and the driving force for my lifestyle, but for now it is, and I am glad for that.

Happy New Year.

This time of year is a time for new beginnings and remembering old ones. As I sit here listening to Journey (Don't Stop Believin' to be exact) I think of what I look forward to this year, where I want to go, what I want to do, and what I hope to accomplish. Moments like these are good to think about what path I am currently travelling down in my life, and is it heading in the direction I want (and do I really have a choice)? It is also a good time to reflect on the past year, where I have been, what I have learned. This post is going to be about a few of these things.

Every year comes around, and I think about what has happened in this past year. The main thing that is consistent with every year is that it goes by too fast. The worst part is that the older I get, the faster time seems to fly by. Not a comforting realization. I also realize that with each year, and looking back on it, it helps give you the hindsight you need to see your growth. Much like my time in school, every semester was a struggle, and at the end of the semester I wasn't sure what I had learned. A semester later, still struggling, but realizing that the struggle from the semester before did leave nuggets of knowledge, so I wasn't doomed to struggle with the same things. That is exactly what I hope I get out of each year. Learn from my experiences, my accomplishments, and (most of all) my mistakes. I realize that this has been an important year for me. I have been able to clarify a number of things in my life and feel as if I am setting things straight providing myself with the sense of direction that will help me get where I want to go. I have come to terms with a few things that were not easy to let go, and am learning to deal with those that are still around.

As far as looking forward to the next year, my only resolution is to not have resolutions, or at least New Years resolutions. I don't like having the new year signifying the start of something, when any day is good enough to be the start of something. So, my resolution is to not wait to have a resolution, but begin whatever it is I hope to do, then and there, not letting time slip past. That and getting bunny hops on my track bike with as much height and efficiency as Gabe Morford.

The other thing that I figure I can clump into this is Fairwhether. I hope to push Fairwhether and keep creating with Dustin. I am excited to be setting this up with him, and starting to work on little projects together. I know this is going to be a huge year for him, and I wish him all the best with Cadence. Fairwhether is the embodiement of creating and I hope to continue creating more than I have these past few years. There is never enough creativity in the world and it comes in all forms, sizes, and shapes, and I feel that I have not been doing enough in the aspect. I hope to push the boundaries of how and what I create and Fairwhether is here to help me with that. It started a bit early for a New Years Resolution (the reason is above) but it is not a bad thing to think about it, and look towards it's future.

To all, Happy New Year and to new beginnings and remembering old ones. Make the most of it.

I have lived in San Francisco for about 4 years and some change. San Francisco is a great city; liberal, open-minded (almost too much at times), picturesque areas, and relatively nice weather (at least compared to the north). San Francisco is also the city of acquiantances. Over the past four years or so, I have entered and left a variety of social scenes, worked enough jobs, and lived in one area for long enough to meet a lot of people. It is impossible to go walking around a certain neighborhood without running into someone you know. Afterall, SF is a pretty small city. And after living in this city for so long, I have made numerous connections, or acquaintances, but have very few friends.

Now, I use the term friend in this connotation in a fairly serious manner. As most things in life, there are varying degrees of how well we know someone. Tons of people we 'know;' we say 'Hi' to on the street, know something of their life, work, relationships etc, and can have a small conversation with, but it rarely goes farther than that. Lots of other people that are purely the 'hi' and a recognition that you have crossed paths before or have something in common. The other main category are the people you know pretty, or very, well and you spend quite a bit of time with, know much more about their lives, and are in constanct dialogue. There is a connection with these people, but not on a very personal note. You spend time, talk about anything and everything, but it often feels superficial. Any personal thoughts or feelings of things that one person may be going through are not something that is readily discussed and the lack of interest by others seems apparent, where what that person is thinking is of more importance than what others are concerned with around them. Finally, there are people that are 'friends' (used in the more sincere meaning of the word), people who genuinely want to know how you are, what is new, what you are thinking, and would be there if you needed them. That final point is the main thing that seems to separate 'friends' from 'acquaintances.' How well you know the friend actually seems quite flexible, but it becomes quite apparent that they are there for you whenever you may need them, and that speaks a lot stronger than how much you may know about their family, politics, or pets.

I have always been pretty critical of who I would consider a friend, or what I am labelling as an acquaintance here. I have always felt that I have had very few real friends. I'm hesitant to extend myself out there hoping that the person I am dealing with is genuinely extending themselves in return. That part of the equation leads me to be quite solitary at times, internalized due to the fact that I am skeptical of who I am speaking with. However, this is in regard to mainly opinions and feelings; vocal communications. When someone I know is in need, I would like to think that I always try to help them. If the need of help is genuine (a loose term here I know) I will always put myself out there for that person and try to help the best I can. To me, this makes me feel good about who I am and the way I live my life. Whether people see this and recognize this is rather inconsequential to me, for I know it, and I how I see my life is what really matters. I have realized I have little control on how others may view me. Too often is something taken out of context or judgements made too rashly about a person's character. So for those that I genuinely care about, whether they know it or not, I try and take care of them, and do what I can. The reverse is that I never expect reciprocation. I don't feel as if all the people that I would put myself in the line of fire for would return the favor, but that is just not something I can come to expect. For when that safety net is not there, you fall that much harder.

All this is a reflection of San Francisco and why there are so many people that are 'acquaintances' rather than 'friends.' In my opinion, people here are quite concerned about how many people you know, and who you know, rather than focusing on creating a few strong friendships. It is the age-old quantity over quality predicament, and something that I feel is part of San Francisco. I have not travelled too extensively, but have seen and visited a small range of different areas of the world, and have felt, in my mind, genuine care and interest with people that I have only known for a few hours. That is quite shocking, but a pleasant surprise, when you come from a place that feels so guarded. Then again, that may not be just San Francisco, but something reflective of the United States in general, for the other places I speak of range from Central America to Asia to Europe.

To sum up this somewhat worthless post, I hope that more 'friends' come into my life (mainly in San Francisco), but until that happens all I can do is keep extending myself to those around me, and hope that I am making an impact on them, all the while staying true to what I feel is the right path for me to live my life.

This time of year is quite special for most people. The season is changing, where winter is officially here. It is a time of family, friends, sharing and general caring for those around you. There are those moments where everyone seems genuinely happy for the company and are more interested in the act of giving than receiving. It is a nice time of year, though I only wish it would last longer than the brief period of a few weeks leading up to the most consumer-oriented holiday of the year.

Now, I need to just put this out there. I am not one for most holidays, or let me clarify, gift-purchasing holidays. Now, I understand my lack of care on a few particular days throughout the year can be interpreted as me being an asshole. I acknowledge this. However, I feel my lack of interest in abiding with the generally accepted notion that I must purchase something for someone on said day because it is the norm, should be viewed as somewhat distinct from my lack of caring for that person.

Growing up, the friends in my neighborhood where I lived were Jehovahs Witnesses. Not being many kids my age lived just a few blocks from me, leaving me with little option in who I could hang out with, and besides religious beliefs, we were all into the same things. Spending a little time in their households gave me a little insight into their religion. Mainly, Witnesses don't celebrate most holidays, especially gift giving ones. Of course, I was a bit shocked at this being younger and more oriented with who has what, but they offered up how they saw it. My friend simply told me, ' What does it matter if we don't get something on one particular day? We get stuff all year round.'

I liked this statement, and now a few years down the road with what I would like to think is a slightly wiser perspective on things, it still rings true. If I am going to buy things for someone, I want to do so because I am thinking of them and would like to, not because it is some that day of the year where I must buy something really nice. I wish it was christmas or whatever holiday all year round, where when someone sees something and thinks of someone else, they can get them a gift, instead of saying that there is one day where we have to.

That is my viewpoint on the holidays. It is just a frenzy of purchasing without any realization of why they are consuming other than it's what you are supposed to do. That lack of thought reflects that material course this society has gone and I personally don't want to buy into that. My other problem is that this leads to me not fully realizing that not everyone shares my viewpoint on this, and I need share my opinions so that I may be understood. Hence, this blog.

So, I am not a big purchaser. I don't go buy crazy gifts for people on those certains days of the year we are supposed to. (Birthdays are a bit different, and more special) I try and show that I care for whoever, however throughout the whole year. This year in particular has been nice. Simple things, some serious enjoyment in seeing other people recieve things that they genuinely like that didn't cost anything, and just spending time with people and everyone trying to and getting along. That is what this time of year, and the other times of year, should be about.

As a follow up to my last post, I want to talk about a certain shirt graphic that came out recently. I defined graphic design in that post, loosely, as a form of communication of an idea, concept, or brand. The communication part of the definition is key, and something I try and calculate in most projects I do. As a designer you have to be very careful what and how you present your design, for the meaning is by and far purely subjective. You try and focus your communication so that misinterpretation is unlikely.

That said, aNYthing recently put out a shirt in their last run that displays three swatzikas shown prominently on it. You can see the shirt here. I was and still am quite shocked about this graphic. Now, I will say I have no idea who A-ron, the owner of aNYthing, or the designer (if i could call him that) of the shirt had in mind with the design, and not knowing this I am going to have to make a couple of assumptions about they could have possibly meant.

Now from just looking at the shirt called Dance w. the Devil, I cannot find any correlation between the Goathead graphic and swastikas. For this part, I will assume that they had good intentions, and are trying to make some sort of statement. What that statement is I do not know. Could they be trying to pull attention to something in particular by putting those swastikas on the shirt? Again, I do not know, and my ability to find a tangent says to me the communication of the shirt isn't working, resulting in a poor design.

A swastika is obviously not something that is perceived lightly. The stigma of the Holocaust still plagues a large chunk of the world representing hatred and bigotry. I would like to assume that this is not a display of such feelings from aNYthing, but I can not find any other way of reading it. If they did mean to display this, this takes the shirt into a whole other area of discussion. I have heard one person say they are going for 'shock value' with the design. Now, why would you need to put swastikas on a shirt for shock value? What is that really saying? We are the inconsiderate and are supporting such viewpoints by placing the swastika a total of three times on our shirt? Or, we simply have nothing new to do, so we are stooping so low as to dredge out an internationally known symbol of hatred. I just cannot find a justifiable reason for putting this out there.

I realize that the swastika is the worlds oldest symbol and one of peace, where the Nazi party reversed and manipulated it's meaning. Though whatever it's history, the symbol has a new current connotation of hate. People do not relate peace with that symbol, and as designer, I would never want to use something so ignorant in a design. Now I have brought this up with a few people a couple times, and after seeing it at HUF here in San Francisco, I had to ask, "how can you carry that shirt?" One employee there in return asked me "Why you buggin'?" So now let me explain why I am 'buggin.'

First, I don't like the shirt, which I explained why in my previous post. I don't think the design is very good, and I am not a fan of aNYthing's clothing. That is merely a matter of opinion, and as such I will never wear that shirt nor anything aNYthing (funny, I know) makes. Second, I am troubled by the fact that someone that holds the same title I do would make such a shirt and I feel it necessary to create some distinction between myself and them. For, third, contributing to the ignorance of people is not something I ever want to do. Ignorance is rampant enough in society without pathetic attempts at a clothing label to make profit. By merely exploiting the culture and youth that is impressionable enough to buy these things without any thought to what it means is a shameful act. The people that shop at HUF range in age, but a large portion are teenagers. I can speak from experience, I was highly impressionable at that age and had little idea of what my own beliefs and views were on things, rather following by example of people I looked up to. Now, for sneaker culture to exploit these teens like that is horrible act. Sneakers should not cost $300 USD nor a hoodie $180. That is exploitation, taking advantage of a kid who merely wants to be unique or cool. There is absolutely no reason, other than profit, to charge those prices, and taking that money from kids is tactless. For that as a whole, I look shamefully at sneaker culture and how they directly market themselves so as these kids will want and covet their over-priced under-quality/designed products.

The final point, and the one that I find most disturbing, is the only place I have seen some sort of comment made against this shirt is DontBelieveTheHypebeast.com. DBTHB (for short) is a spoof site. They poke fun at sneaker culture trends and specific products (I admit I agree with almost everything they say and they are prety funny at times), and such is not the place to find this form of commentary on this shirt. The fact that no legitimatized pro-sneaker culture site has said anything against this shirt is apalling and shows to me the attempt to merely exploit this market, or a complete lack in taste and morals.

I personally am offended by this shirt and it does nothing to help my outlook on this scene as a whole. I just hope the consumers who purchase these products realize what it is they are buying and it's further implications, and that the owners and so-called-designers face some repercussion for their actions. These types of items make me ashamed to know anybody within the sneaker scene.

J-Buggin out.