I have lived in San Francisco for about 4 years and some change. San Francisco is a great city; liberal, open-minded (almost too much at times), picturesque areas, and relatively nice weather (at least compared to the north). San Francisco is also the city of acquiantances. Over the past four years or so, I have entered and left a variety of social scenes, worked enough jobs, and lived in one area for long enough to meet a lot of people. It is impossible to go walking around a certain neighborhood without running into someone you know. Afterall, SF is a pretty small city. And after living in this city for so long, I have made numerous connections, or acquaintances, but have very few friends.

Now, I use the term friend in this connotation in a fairly serious manner. As most things in life, there are varying degrees of how well we know someone. Tons of people we 'know;' we say 'Hi' to on the street, know something of their life, work, relationships etc, and can have a small conversation with, but it rarely goes farther than that. Lots of other people that are purely the 'hi' and a recognition that you have crossed paths before or have something in common. The other main category are the people you know pretty, or very, well and you spend quite a bit of time with, know much more about their lives, and are in constanct dialogue. There is a connection with these people, but not on a very personal note. You spend time, talk about anything and everything, but it often feels superficial. Any personal thoughts or feelings of things that one person may be going through are not something that is readily discussed and the lack of interest by others seems apparent, where what that person is thinking is of more importance than what others are concerned with around them. Finally, there are people that are 'friends' (used in the more sincere meaning of the word), people who genuinely want to know how you are, what is new, what you are thinking, and would be there if you needed them. That final point is the main thing that seems to separate 'friends' from 'acquaintances.' How well you know the friend actually seems quite flexible, but it becomes quite apparent that they are there for you whenever you may need them, and that speaks a lot stronger than how much you may know about their family, politics, or pets.

I have always been pretty critical of who I would consider a friend, or what I am labelling as an acquaintance here. I have always felt that I have had very few real friends. I'm hesitant to extend myself out there hoping that the person I am dealing with is genuinely extending themselves in return. That part of the equation leads me to be quite solitary at times, internalized due to the fact that I am skeptical of who I am speaking with. However, this is in regard to mainly opinions and feelings; vocal communications. When someone I know is in need, I would like to think that I always try to help them. If the need of help is genuine (a loose term here I know) I will always put myself out there for that person and try to help the best I can. To me, this makes me feel good about who I am and the way I live my life. Whether people see this and recognize this is rather inconsequential to me, for I know it, and I how I see my life is what really matters. I have realized I have little control on how others may view me. Too often is something taken out of context or judgements made too rashly about a person's character. So for those that I genuinely care about, whether they know it or not, I try and take care of them, and do what I can. The reverse is that I never expect reciprocation. I don't feel as if all the people that I would put myself in the line of fire for would return the favor, but that is just not something I can come to expect. For when that safety net is not there, you fall that much harder.

All this is a reflection of San Francisco and why there are so many people that are 'acquaintances' rather than 'friends.' In my opinion, people here are quite concerned about how many people you know, and who you know, rather than focusing on creating a few strong friendships. It is the age-old quantity over quality predicament, and something that I feel is part of San Francisco. I have not travelled too extensively, but have seen and visited a small range of different areas of the world, and have felt, in my mind, genuine care and interest with people that I have only known for a few hours. That is quite shocking, but a pleasant surprise, when you come from a place that feels so guarded. Then again, that may not be just San Francisco, but something reflective of the United States in general, for the other places I speak of range from Central America to Asia to Europe.

To sum up this somewhat worthless post, I hope that more 'friends' come into my life (mainly in San Francisco), but until that happens all I can do is keep extending myself to those around me, and hope that I am making an impact on them, all the while staying true to what I feel is the right path for me to live my life.